Back to School and ADHD: Signs to Look for and When to Seek Support
““One of the most common things I hear from parents during ADHD assessments is not that their child isn’t trying. It’s that they seem to be trying harder than everyone else, just to keep up. As school returns and routines tighten, those hidden efforts often become much more visible.””
Each year, a few weeks into the school term, I notice a familiar pattern. Parents reach out not because something new has suddenly appeared, but because the structure of school has made certain difficulties harder to ignore.
The holidays may have felt manageable. Mornings were calmer. Expectations were lower. Then school resumes and suddenly the emotional load, the homework struggles, and the daily stress feel heavier again.
If this sounds familiar, you’re certainly not alone.
Why ADHD often becomes more noticeable once school starts
School places very specific demands on children that go far beyond simply “paying attention.” It requires a set of executive functioning skills that develop unevenly in children with ADHD.
These include the ability to:
Sustain attention over long periods
Follow multi-step instructions
Organise belongings and schoolwork
Manage time and transitions
Regulate emotions under pressure
During the holidays, many of these demands ease. When school returns, the gap between effort and output can become much more visible, both to parents and to children themselves.
Signs parents often notice early in the school term
Parents describe this in different ways, but common themes include:
Homework becoming disproportionately stressful or emotionally charged
Difficulty getting started on tasks, even when the work is understood
Emotional “meltdowns” or withdrawal after school
Forgetting instructions, notes, or equipment
A child appearing exhausted from holding things together during the day
A phrase I hear often is:
“They’re trying so hard, but everything seems to take so much effort.”
That observation is important, and it’s often a key indicator that something more than motivation is at play.
What teachers may be noticing (and what it often means)
Teacher feedback can be very helpful, but it’s also sometimes confusing for parents. You might hear comments such as:
“Bright, but easily distracted”
“Capable, but struggles to stay on task”
“Needs frequent reminders”
“Finds it hard to work independently”
These observations are not about intelligence, effort, or care. ADHD is not a behavioural choice or a lack of discipline. It reflects differences in how the brain manages attention, organisation, and regulation, particularly in structured environments like classrooms.
It’s also worth noting that ADHD can present differently in different children. For some, difficulties are more visible through activity level or impulsivity. For others, particularly many girls, challenges may be quieter and more internalised, such as daydreaming, anxiety, or emotional overload.
Why ADHD is often missed when hyperactivity isn’t obvious
When people think about ADHD, they often picture a child who is constantly moving, interrupting, or getting into trouble. But that’s only one way ADHD can look.
Many children with ADHD are actually quite quiet. They may sit still, follow rules, and try very hard to do the right thing, even while struggling internally.
Some children with ADHD:
Appear to be listening but miss parts of what’s said
Daydream or “switch off” rather than act out
Get overwhelmed easily but keep it to themselves
Work slowly because everything takes more effort
Because these difficulties aren’t loud or disruptive, they can be mistaken for anxiety, immaturity, lack of confidence, or even personality. Teachers and parents are doing their best, but without obvious hyperactivity, ADHD is easier to miss.
This is one reason ADHD is often identified later in girls and in children who are bright, compliant, or eager to please. The challenges are still real, they’re just quieter.
ADHD, anxiety, or simply adjusting to school?
This is one of the most common questions parents ask.
Some children are adjusting to a new teacher, increased workload, or changed expectations, and those challenges can settle with time. Others may be experiencing anxiety, which can look very similar on the surface.
What often suggests ADHD rather than short-term adjustment is:
A longstanding pattern rather than a recent change
Difficulties occurring across settings (school, home, activities)
Challenges persisting even when motivation is high
A sense that everyday tasks require significantly more mental effort
An assessment isn’t about rushing to a diagnosis, it’s about understanding what’s driving the difficulties.
When it might be worth exploring an ADHD assessment
There’s no single “right” moment, but many families choose to explore assessment when:
Difficulties have been present for some time
A child’s confidence or self-esteem is beginning to suffer
Family stress around schoolwork is increasing
Existing strategies aren’t enough on their own
Importantly, an ADHD assessment is not a commitment to medication. For many families, the most valuable outcome is clarity, understanding how a child’s brain works and how best to support them.
A brief note on evidence and early understanding
ADHD is a well-established neurodevelopmental condition, supported by decades of research. Evidence consistently shows that earlier identification is associated with better long-term outcomes, largely because it reduces self-blame and allows support to be better tailored to a child’s needs.
A thorough, evidence-based assessment considers patterns over time, information from multiple settings, and the broader emotional and developmental context, rather than relying on a single score or checklist.
If you’re unsure, that’s okay
You don’t need to have all the answers right now. Many parents I speak to have been quietly holding these questions for months, or even years, before deciding to explore them further.
If something has become more noticeable since school started, particularly if it’s affecting your child’s wellbeing or your family’s day-to-day life. it may simply be worth having a conversation.
Understanding what’s going on is not about labels. It’s about support, self-compassion, and giving children the best chance to feel capable and understood.
